On Courtship: What is it?

  Courtship is a hot topic in today's society. Some people consider it a difficult thing, with strict rules, harsh punishments should an infraction occur, and impossible standards. However, in my humble opinion, that is not at all what courtship is all about. Courtship is not about restrictions, punishments, or high standards. Well, what is courtship then?

  Courtship is more about letting God write your love story, as opposed to writing it yourself, the way you want it. At first, that might not sound appealing.However, in God's Word, it says,

¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
¹² Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
¹³ And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. ~Jeremiah 29:11-13

  God says He knows the thoughts he thinks towards us, and they are obviously true, as God is Truth. He calls His thoughts, "...thoughts of peace, and not of evil..." We cannot see the future like God can, but since He loves us so much, he has his will already planned for our lives, and all we have to do is follow. If we can trust God with our eternal salvation, why can we not trust Him with all aspects of our lives, including courtships and relationships? Even if there is someone we really think is perfect for us, we should not try to eagerly pursue a romantic relationship. If it is God's Will, it can and will happen, but in His time. No matter what stage of life you are in now, you need to remember to put God first.

  I remember hearing an old quote once... I'm afraid I can't tell you who I heard it from, or who said it first, but if you know, please tell me. It is, "Keep running as fast as you can towards God, and if someone can keep up, introduce yourself." I absolutely love this quote!!

  Different people have different standards for courtship. However, courtship is NOT about rules. Rather, it is an attitude shift towards relationships, that first and foremost you serve God, then you serve your partner, putting yourself last. Once you can understand this, then (and only then!), can you come up with a list of requirements you would like in your courtship, once God introduces you into the proper place.

  Remember, although courtship is dating with the intention of marriage (as opposed to dating frivolously with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes along), it does not necessarily mean that you will be married. It is not an engagement. If for some reason you and your partner decide you are not compatible, you can still break it off, easily, and still be friends. However, courtship is nothing to take on lightly, and you should try to find out all you can about your potential beau before you enter into one, and if there is anything concerning, wait upon the Lord to either resolve the issue, or take you out of that situation.

  When you are trying to come up with the standards YOU want to keep, do not turn to outside sources. For a long time, I wanted a courtship just like Josh and Anna Duggar's. However, at the time, I failed to realize that I could not take someone else's standards, and call them my own, or I would fail. Your standards should be made between you and your Saviour. He is your First Love. Do not let anyone else come between you and Him.

  Now, as an example, and NOT a template, these are some of the things that I want for my own courtship, ready for when God brings my Prince Charming into my life. <3

Before a Courtship (like with any guy)

~limited physical contact (i.e., holding hands to play a game is okay, holding hands under the table is definitely not)
~No one-on-one settings (i.e., going out to dinner with your good friend Mr.Guy alone is not okay, going out to dinner with Mr.Guy, best girlfriend #1, and best girlfriend #2 is okay, or going out to dinner with Mr.Guy, Mr.Guy #2, best girlfriend #1, and best girlfriend #2 is okay).

After Entering into a Courtship--whoa, super exciting!

~limited physical contact, but less strict than before (i.e., hand holding is okay, side hugs are okay, full hugs, not as good, but possible in certain, very supervised settings, ;) )~No one-on-one settings (i.e., going out to dinner with your good friend Mr.Guy alone is not okay, going out to dinner with Mr.Guy, best girlfriend #1, and best girlfriend #2 is okay, or going out to dinner with Mr.Guy, Mr.Guy #2, best girlfriend #1, and best girlfriend #2 is okay).
~Dates ARE okay....but only with a chaperone.

Once we're Engaged! --whoooooo getting closer!! :D

~full hugs are okay, as long as they aren't super long (like more than 5-8 seconds? I don't know. haha)
~hand holding is totally okay, and somewhat expected. ;)~No one-on-one settings (i.e., going out to dinner with your good friend Mr.Guy alone is not okay, going out to dinner with Mr.Guy, best girlfriend #1, and best girlfriend #2 is okay, or going out to dinner with Mr.Guy, Mr.Guy #2, best girlfriend #1, and best girlfriend #2 is okay).~Dates ARE okay....but only with a chaperone.

After the Wedding --goal met! :D

Uhm... yeah. You shouldn't really have any boundaries at this point. Haha!



  Remember, this is NOT a set of rules you should follow. These are my rules, that I came up with, just me and God. You need to come up with you're own, or it will not work. If you don't make this your own, failure is inevitable.

  I suppose that is all for this post! :) Comment if you have any questions, and I will try to answer as best as I can!

                                                                                   ~Blessings and Roses<3
                                                                                                      Sierra(: